Masculine Conversations

Masculine Conversations

Monday, July 6, 2015

Done with the MCAT!

It's over at last! After 100 days of studying till my head spun, I'm finally done with the Medical College Admissions Test.

I find big tests like this to be a very interesting experience. In many ways, they test not only the material officially covered, but also what you're made of, like how you handle stress. And they show your relationship, or lack thereof, with God.

For me, testing is a scary, but rewarding experience I often look forward to. It's scary because I know it will be stressful, and I don't like the feeling I get when I look at a question and know that I don't have a clue how to answer it. But it's also rewarding because I know that when the way gets rough, when I have no idea where to start on a problem, then I feel God right beside me. Holding my hand, guiding my mind, giving me strength.

The morning of the MCAT I took a prayer walk down our road, far enough to reach the bend where it curves down and away, opening up an amazing view of Camel's Hump, a nearby peak we like to climb. I was sharing my heart with God - my fears, my dreams, my desire for His will to be done on the test. And suddenly, these lines of a song came into my head (From "Oceans" by Hillsong):

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the water
Wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
Where my faith would be made stronger
In the presence of my savior

I have found this to be so true on many occasions, and especially while testing. When I allow God to take me deeper than I would ever go myself, past my comfort zone and out upon the unknown waters, I find that the farther I go, the more His Grace abounds.

And that's how it was on the MCAT. Despite the massive nature of the test, and the fact that much of my medical school applications hung on the next 7.5 hours and 230 questions, I had an amazing sense of peace and calm. I felt that God was there with me, and knew exactly what score He wanted me to get, and how it would all work into His larger plan for my life. 

So, while I wait the next 4 weeks or so until the grades come out, I am able to rest assured that God is working in the entire process, and that regardless of how I do on the exam, His will will be done. And at the end of the day, that's all I care about.

And then, a couple days after the test, when I wasn't expecting a thing, we were having a family evening reading a book out loud and working on various projects, when Curtis left for a minute and returned with a long roll of leather.

"This is from the family," he said. "Just a little something to celebrate your big accomplishment."

I unrolled the leather, and there, just like I was in a dream, lay this beautiful Sears, Roebuck and Co. lever action .30-30 rifle! I was literally speechless!

Needless to say, I am incredibly blessed by my family - they're amazing!

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